School Dad Jokes

Jokes in this collection

• Why did the band kid get detention?

  Passing notes.

• Why did the angle graduate early?

  It had a degree.

• What’s a minimalist’s favorite punctuation mark?

  The period. It knows when to stop.

• Why did Julius Caesar buy Roman numerals?

  He wanted to count on them.

• What's the most hardworking letter?

  E — it's in every sentence. Almost.

• Which letter is always wet?

  C.

• What starts with E, ends with E, and contains only one letter?

  Envelope.

• Why is the letter A like a flower?

  Because a B comes after it.

• Why did the math book look so sad?

  It had too many problems.

• An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

  The first says, 'I'll have a beer.' The second says, 'I'll have half a beer.' The third says, 'I'll have a quarter…' Bartender pours two beers and says, 'You know your limits.'

• Why was the equal sign so humble?

  It knew it wasn't greater than or less than anyone.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar.

  It was tense.

• I was struggling with my geometry homework until I remembered...

  A circle has 360 degrees. Then everything came full circle.

• Why can't you trust an atom?

  Because they make up everything.

• My history teacher said nothing is impossible.

  I told him to dribble with no hands. He said that's basketball. I said, 'Exactly — impossible.'

• A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers.

  'Five beers, please.'

• I failed every test at school. My teacher said I needed to focus.

  So I got glasses. Still failed. The lens just wasn't the issue.

• Why did the kid eat his homework?

  Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

• Why did the music teacher need a ladder?

  To reach the high notes.

• I'm reading a book on helium.

  I can't put it down.

• Why don't scientists trust atoms?

  Because they make up everything.

• Why did the student bring scissors to the test?

  To cut class.

• What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?

  A Flossiraptor.

• Why did the kid cross the playground?

  To get to the other slide.