Dog Dad Jokes

Jokes in this collection

• Why has that dog never lost a fight?

  Born a boxer.

• My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot.

  It got so bad I finally had to take the bike away.

• I trained my dog to fetch a glass of wine.

  He's now a Bordeaux retriever.

• What do you call a dog who tells stories?

  A golden tale-er.

• My dog used to herd sheep. Now he herds my kids.

  Same chaos, better smell.

• What do you call a dog who's also a detective?

  An in-fur-mant.

• My dog and I were playing poker and he kept giving things away.

  He has a terrible poker face. And he bets treats.

• What do you call a dog who does magic tricks?

  A labra-cadabra-dor.

• I named my dog 5 miles.

  So I can say I walk 5 miles every day.

• What do you call a pile of cats?

  A meowtain.

• What do you call a dog magician?

  A labracadabrador.

• Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?

  Because they're watch dogs.

• Dad, can you put the cat out?

  I didn't know it was on fire.

• I told my dog we weren't getting a cat.

  He was so excited his tail wagged... wait.

• What do you call a detective dog?

  An in-fur-mant.

• I trained my dog to fetch wine.

  He's a Bordeaux retriever.

• My dog used to chase people on a bike.

  It got so bad I had to take his bike away.

• Why don't dogs play cards with kids?

  Too many cheaters… and drool on the deck.

• What's a dog's favorite group chat?

  The bark channel. Read receipts: sniff.

• Why did the dog bring a flashlight on the walk?

  It heard we were looking for a bright idea.

• What do you call a dog who tells jokes?

  A bark-omician!

• Why did the dog fail his driving test?

  He kept chasing cars!

• What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

  A labracadabrador!

• Why did the dog sit in the shade?

  Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!